A Gift From The Heart For Christmas

Things had been good for some time. We had just taken Brian down to Detroit Children's Hospital for his normal yearly heart catherization. But when we got there, they discovered both his heart and kidneys were failing. The prognosis wasn't good.

"Brian may have to stay in the hospital until he gets a heart," Dr. Forbes informed us.

Blinking back the tears, I shuddered at the thought. I couldn't even fathom what his words meant for us or better yet for Brian. I would have to leave my husband and other 3 children and move into the Ronald McDonald House. And poor Brian, he wouldn't be able to leave the hospital for anything until he got a heart.

"Oh, God, please no!"

God was my only refuge and I knew it. I'd watched Him heal Brian so many times. When he was born with only two chambers in his heart the doctors said he'd only live to be a year old. Nonetheless we took him home, loved him, and prayed over every obstacle we faced. And I got to watch, time after time, as God miraculously came through and healed him. He even graduated from high school with honors. And ever summer, even after critical heart surgeries, Brian worked in the college summer youth program.

He never gave up.

Although Brian wasn't thrilled about staying in the hospital, he put his faith in God once again and gave me the thumbs up. "Don't worry, Mom, everything will be okay."

I tried to cling to those words, and silently kept praying, "Please God, just heal Brian so we can go home by Mother's Day." That's the only gift I wanted, for my son to be well and come home.

And once again, God heard and answered my prayer! One week later, much to everyone's amazement, we wheeled Brian out of ICU to our van. It was the best present in the world for our whole family.

But at home Brian wanted to give me something more. We had just gotten some flyers in the mail from J.B. Robinsons. He began thumbing through the pages. "Mom I have some money saved and I want to get you some nice jewelry," he said. "Anything you want."

"No, I don't want any jewelry, honey," I told him, "I got my present, you're home." He was still persistent about the jewelry, but finally gave up when I wouldn't give in.

Over the next few months Brian had become so healthy, I couldn't believe it. He had put himself on a low-calorie diet, was working out at the YMCA, and walking a mile every day. He'd lost nearly 43 lbs. I was so proud of him for giving up his salty junk foods and pizza and eating more fruits and vegetables.

During the summer he got to run around with his brothers and sister and just be a kid again. "Mom, I was running and I didn't even get tired," he announced after being outside for more than two hours. Normally he had to rest every few minutes. It was good to see him so happy and healthy.

In July he even walked in a parade to raise awareness to stop abuse of people and pets. I worried because it was an extremely hot day and one of the longest parades we entered that year, but he walked and passed out candy to kids the whole 2 1/2 miles. I was dripping with sweat and ready to collapse at the end, but he was up walking around, joking with everyone. I honestly couldn't believe the sudden improvement in his health.

But Brian had always told his doctors, "You're not going to give me a heart transplant, God's going to heal the one I've got."

A few weeks after that parade, Brian's left calf began hurting and swelled. Immediately I thought, What if it's a blood clot? With his artificial valve it was a known risk, but the blood thinners he took daily were supposed to counteract that. Besides, he had just worked out at the YMCA so I was hoping it was muscle related. But the next day, his leg was even worse and he could barely walk..

I took him to the hospital. After doing a doppler on his leg and not finding anything, they assumed it was a strained muscle, told him to stay off it, and said he'd be better in two weeks. Sadly, Brian died exactly two weeks later.

It was a shock to everyone, even the doctors. For months we grieved and tried to put the pieces together. The autopsy didn't even make sense. They found his left leg to be swollen too, but no reasoning. They blamed the cause of death on his enlarged heart.

We knew coming into the holidays it would be hard. Our first Christmas without him. Yet, it ended up being all about him.

After everyone had opened their gifts, my husband gave me a card. It said there was a gift for me from Brian hidden in the tree. It took awhile to find it, but right behind Brian's ornament was a small package. I took it out, opened it, and began to cry. It was a beautiful light blue sparkly ring, the color of Brian's eyes.

To me, that ring was the best gift! Not because it was beautiful and expensive, but because it was a gift from the heart and will remind me of Brian for years to come!